Oh the Wait

Today should be a day for frantic packing, panicked hyperventilation, and anxious crying.  Today was supposed to be a day for long goodbyes, suitcases on and off the scale, painful decisions of what books to read on the flight.  Today was supposed to be a day of an empty bedroom, triple checking for my passport, and probably a lot of drinking.

Today was busy.  But other than this spectacular bottle of Accumulation, none of the above has taken place.

This Saturday was the day I planned to hop a flight, go to Canada for a week to spend with my dad, then hop another flight to have a few fun days in Nairobi, then one last flight to land in Addis Ababa on February 3rd for a weekend of settling into my brand new life as a kindergarten English teacher at a private school and a volunteer with World Orphans in whatever capacity they wanted me.

But life doesn’t ever go the way we plan and that’s okay.  At this point, I am still going to have the opportunity to do all of that.  The painful matter of ‘when’ is another story.

Thanks to a fantastically-timed policy change at the immigration office that has led to a dispute with the education department, I am in limbo.  I won’t be leaving Saturday.

I might be leaving the next Saturday.

Or the next.

Or the next.

I really have no idea.

I’m not the only person affected by this, by the way.  There is at least one other teacher who is in the same boat at my school alone.

It has been a hard couple of weeks, trying to emotionally prepare for the pain that I will feel all day Saturday.  One of my nearest and dearest and most exquisite of friends is going to a missions conference in Portland so I hopped on board!  The best way I can plan for the day is to stay busy and go to all of the panels about business as mission and working in areas of poverty in a way that encourages the dignity those people deserve.  And of course to be reminded that God is in control, God is in control, God is in control.

This blog post isn’t an attempt to be wise or insightful (as I often try and fail to be), but rather just to give an update as to why I haven’t written on this blog in so long and where I am at now.

Which is here.

In my room.

With a beer and cheesy potatoes.


About undressingthedragon

I ran away from God a lot, but He kept lavishing me in His love, and it's harder to run now that I know what that feels like. Undressing the Dragon comes from a portion of "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" from The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis in which the cousin Eustace gets turned into a dragon. When Aslan, the lion, peels off his scales, it hurts, but it is worth it for the healing and freedom of being a boy again. I want my dragon heart to be peeled into a heart of flesh that beats alive for the cause of Christ. I have a few thousand dreams in life from being a writer to musician to missionary to wife and I don't think I will ever accomplish everything, but it hasn't entered into the heart of Hannah the things God has for me who loves Him, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it so much.
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