Voyage: A Journey and a Valley

Four weeks ago I had a Skype interview for a position to teach kindergarten English at a school in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

At the time of posting this blog, I have accepted and signed the contract and will leave in February of 2017.  In addition to teaching littles, I hope to volunteer with the World Orphans Ethiopian staff in any way I can that will not be in the way and hope to be a support for them.

Before receiving the job offer, I spent two and a half weeks, unable to sleep, knowing those are the hours they were in session at the school, the hours they would be most likely to email me to offer me the job.

But nothing…until I emailed them and they replied that internet had been mostly down, country wide, due to high school exams overloading the servers!

In the meantime, the two and a half weeks of instability, looking at my future with wide-eyed terror, I was reading my Puritan prayer in The Valley of Vision.  It was titled “Voyage”.  And it was every bit of peace that I needed about my journey to Ethiopia, the one past and the one future.

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And then the awakening to my nearsighted humanity hit me full-force.

This voyage had nothing to do with Ethiopia!

This voyage, this journey we are on is Heaven bound!

I had to take some time to repent the next day when realization struck, because I have put forth so much energy in pursuing the gifts of God that I have failed to pursue Him directly.  I do this in many things, of course.  I do this in my quests for social justice, my striving to be a hard-worker, my future dreams of being a wife.  I seek to excel in achieving His blessings, but He is the Destination of my voyage and the Captain of my soul.

Just like my few and far between romantic interests could not fulfill me, just like promotions have never fulfilled me, embossed qualifications, losing 25lbs, spending $130 at Ulta, eating a family-sized box of Marie Calendar’s Vermont Cheddar Mac ‘n Cheese, having money in my savings account, having friends, having family, having sponsored children I can write to, buying from ethical companies, and drinking a well-balanced peppermint/chamomile tea over ice cannot fulfill me, the emptiness of each of those things cannot compare to the outstanding, all-encompassing fulfillment that I can find in my Captain.  And at the end of this voyage, that fulfillment will be ultimate, and I will be weak for nothing but Him.  My little bark will be safe and secure.

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About undressingthedragon

I ran away from God a lot, but He kept lavishing me in His love, and it's harder to run now that I know what that feels like. Undressing the Dragon comes from a portion of "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" from The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis in which the cousin Eustace gets turned into a dragon. When Aslan, the lion, peels off his scales, it hurts, but it is worth it for the healing and freedom of being a boy again. I want my dragon heart to be peeled into a heart of flesh that beats alive for the cause of Christ. I have a few thousand dreams in life from being a writer to musician to missionary to wife and I don't think I will ever accomplish everything, but it hasn't entered into the heart of Hannah the things God has for me who loves Him, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it so much.
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